One of the perks of my job is a unique program the company launched. It’s a mentorship program, where some of the more senior executives in the company volunteer to mentor more junior managers (me). I was fortunate enough that someone I have a great deal of respect for and has an abundance of experience, volunteered to mentor me, so I want to dedicate this post to some of what I learned in our first meeting, the lessons he taught me, some of my own thoughts for professional growth and development, as well as making these skills part of my everyday life.
Perspective On What a Manager is and How to Manager
One of the first things he had asked me was “what is the job of a manager?”. Now, that seems pretty self explanatory. The job of a manager is to stop s#*t from rolling down hill. A manager is put in that position to make sure things are working how they should be, and the business is trusting that they are the right person to do that.
That’s all good and fine, but in order to do that, you need your team bought into your vision.
Leadership is the art of getting some else to do something you want done, because they want to do it.
– Dwight D. Eisenhower”
Which leaves the trailing question, that I often ask myself and I was asked in this mentorship meeting: How do people want to be managed?
That’s a complicated question because everyone is different, and people are unpredictable. But in a nutshell, his advice, don’t over complicate any role or management process and break it down into the key performance indicators. For example, a simplistic management process for sales looks like the image he drew for me:
Dollar Sign, Pipeline, Activity.
If they are hitting their target, well, that’s the dream right? As a manager, there is no reason or need to look more into that. But if they are not hitting their target, then look past this to pipeline. Do they need help and ideas to close deals? Perhaps. But if there isn’t enough there in the pipeline, then look at activity.
They also indicate other things. If their deals aren’t closing, you can coach them on skill. But if activity is low, maybe its laziness. Maybe something else is going on in their lives that accounts for this dip in activity.
And I love this model because it’s so simple. What simple KPIs should I be looking at to mirror this? With Sales its relatively black and white. With client services, I suppose it can be, but there is a lot more abstract about the role which is what I love about it, but also makes it complicated to measure sometimes. You can measure anything, but sometimes that measurement doesn’t capture the essence of the role. I can measure all the activity I want, but that doesn’t always capture the quality.
- My homework, what are the KPIs I want to measure my team against?
Management is like a Bowling Alley
My take on management is and always has been that it greatly depends on the person. In fact, it’s also been my parenting style and something I believe deeply in.
חֲנֹ֣ךְ לַ֖נַּעַר עַל־פִּ֣י דַרְכּ֑וֹ גַּ֥ם כִּֽי־יַ֜זְקִ֗ין לֹֽא־יָס֥וּר מִמֶּֽנָּה
Train a child according to his way; even when he grows old, he will not turn away from it.
(משלי (כב, ו”
The analogy he gave was that its like bowling with bumpers. The manager is the bumpers and you give people room to work, to make mistakes and fail, but before they fail too hard, you bump them back into the lane to set them back on course. And the connection to the above quote is that some people on your team can have wide lanes, and some need them more narrow. And sometimes, the same person needs those lanes adjusted over time. A strong manager will recognize that, and work with each individuals needs over time. You have to play to the strengths and weaknesses of each person as an individual.
Why Start with Why?
I am no stranger to Simon Sinek. I have seen his talks many times, I have the book, and I am bought in to his message.
Always great to re-watch –> Simon Sinek: How great leaders inspire action | Talk Video http://t.co/P11kkdE7ur
— Aaron Friedman (@AaronFriedman) April 17, 2014
But in this meeting, my mentor had suggested to re-watch it but with a lens of management. Replace Apple with Manager.
Instead of saying things like “This is what you (Employee) have to do and here is how you do it”, try, “This is why we are doing it this way”. Only then we can identify the How and the What. Get them to buy into the message, or at a minimum understand where its coming from.
And I realize, I try to use this with my kids, I just became more aware that I was. The other day my oldest got all worked up about not getting an allowance for doing chores.
“My friends get it. Why Can’t I. It’s not fair!”
And my wife just gave him a flat answer that it’s not how we do things.
He didn’t like that.
I got involved and started giving him my thoughts. I said, something that at the time sounded very profound in my head, and the look of understanding in his eyes made me feel like a sage. I told him, “let me explain WHY we don’t give allowance for basic chores”. I started with why. I gave him my core belief which is that he is part of a family and in a family, we help out, not for money. but because we are a family and it’s our responsibility. So the WHY in this story is because it’s not something we believe in as a core value of this family unit.
He still didn’t necessarily like the answer, but he was more accepting of it.
Lead By Example & Always Be Mentored
I think one of the most important things, which I by no means ever doubted, but its reassuring to hear. Mentors have their own mentors. My mentor referenced numerous times a mentor that he has. If I think back, its like my Rabbi who has his Rabbi, and traces that all the way back to the source. The mesorah of management Kviyachol.
And one thing I can confidently say I have learned from anyone that has ever mentored me or any boss I have had that I had deep respect for, they could relate to my role. They were doing managing me because they were in it. They did the role themselves. They weren’t managing from above. They were managing from having first hand experience.
When things got tough, they knew how to role their sleeves up, get dirty, and join in. And teach. And mentor. And help the team reach their potential. And grow. And empower. And build confidence. And on and on and on…
A good leader inspires people to have confidence in their leader. A great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves
-Eleanor Roosevelt”
That’s a real leader.
Leadership is Obvious to Others
I have thought a lot about “leadership” since my son was born. We named him Adir (mighty) Lev (heart). In my understanding of what leadership is, real leaders don’t pronounce, “I am ready to be your leader, follow me!”. No. It’s just obvious who they are supposed to be. You see someone, and recognize the gifts they have, or the pull to them. You think to yourself, this is the kind of person I want to be around. They have that aura about them. And it’s intoxicating. And it’s a balance of both might and tenderness, and how someone can adjust between them, that qualify them to be a leader. It’s precisely the reason David was qualified and chosen to be the King of Israel.
הוא עדינו העצני. כשהיה יושב עוסק בתורה, היה מעדן עצמו כתולעת, ובשעה שיוצא למלחמה, היה מקשה עצמו כעץ.
When David would sit and learn Torah, he would bend like a worm, but when he went to war, he would harden like a tree.(מועד קטן, טז ע”ב)”
It’s knowing how to adjust the bowling lanes when you need to. It’s knowing when to dig deeper into their activity, and “micromanage” their day to day, and step back when things work. It’s knowing how to keep working with them, making them better, challenging them to be the best that they can be, and give them the confidence that it’s them that worked hard and is responsible for their success.
And hopefully if you have done it all right, get a small amount of appreciation so they feel the need to write about post about their mentors who have helped them along the way, and start the cycle all over.
Blogging Challenge status: Cut this one close, but there was a LOT to think through and make it good. 10 out of 12. 2 left!